I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
