I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
