do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
and she was petting her beer can
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
