on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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