I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
