Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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