Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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