If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
