he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
