umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
don't judge my taste in strippers
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
