and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize