im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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