no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
