we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
