yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How external is "for external use only"?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
