I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
