She said her name was "party"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
