You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
