I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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