when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize