this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
