I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
