well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
