The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize