Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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