So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
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And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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