She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
