I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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