You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
