using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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