at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
