I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
