So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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