you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
