once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
