umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
