hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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