i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i've created a new STD.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
