My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
