No stitches, just platelets and will power
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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