Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
