There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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