I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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