tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize