I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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