youre lurking in front of me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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