I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
