Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
