Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She announced her abortion via fbk
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
