She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
