Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
