Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
