So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The beer is more important than you right now.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
