I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize