There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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