Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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