Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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