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too bad you live with your parents still
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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