in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.