I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
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i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.