We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
