ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting