The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
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Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And my parents said I crawled through the house
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with