That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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